Teen disappointment

August 25, 2008 Uncategorized 3

Sometime today I am going to be comforting a teen daughter who didn’t make a team she wanted. My dd1 is 15 and is a softball player. She is a good player, and she works hard. Is she the best? no, but she really tries and she wants to get better and her personal goal is to play in college. This team was a level up from anything she has ever done, and she knew from the beginning that she might not make it, she didn’t make the first round of team selection, but was asked back with 3 others to determine one more team member. The girls she was competing with are excellent players, and I hate to admit it, but faster and and more skilled than my dd. I know she will be sad, and she does not want to be babied or hugged when she is down. For us it seems her choices in a team have been up and down, the teams seem to fall apart and she is left homeless so to speak. If she chooses an easier team where she knows she can play and star, she won’t get better. Not all teams are good for traveling to, so there are limites. The worst part of all this is not knowing how far she can really go and at what point should someone be honest with her about what she can really attain?

How do I tell my wonderful, driven, hardworking daughter, that her high aspirations may not be attainable? How did I tell her that while she is good, she is not in the top 2% of the best HS softball players and she won’t get a scholarship to play ball at even a small to medium size college. I wish there was a coach that could express this gently to her. It’s not my place to dash her dreams. I hate this because we are taking up a great deal of time and money and is it worth it to chase this?

I’m just lamenting all this right now. It makes me sad and I have no answers.

3 Responses to “Teen disappointment”

  1. Crazy Mom of Three

    That is so hard Anita. I sometimes think our children’s pain is harder than our own. When one door closes, another opens though. That might be what I would tell her. I think I would stay away from any kind of talk about her abilities compared to others. But, I am not a sports mom, so others might know better about that.

  2. Beth

    Anita! Hugs to your daughter! It is hard to swallow…I have been there…and it plain ole sucks! Hang in there!

  3. Valerie

    Bless her heart. I had to have this conversation with Emily when she didn’t make cheer this spring. She’s been taking cheer for years, and was one of the best from her camp, but it wasn’t enough to make the team. She was bitterly disappointed. There really isn’t anything to say. Just be there. She’s a smart girl (both of them are~I think you’re talking about C, but not sure) and she’ll figure out her limitations at some point. And who knows? This may create a drive in her that will take her over the mark next time!

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