A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out – ENOUGH!! Enough fighting and crying and struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.You realize that it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of – happily ever after – must begin with you and, in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are… and that’s ok. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself and, in the process a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval.You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that it’s not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailities and, in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.You realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is as a result of all the messages and opionions that have been ingrained into your psyche. And you begin to sift through all the crap you’ve been fed about how you should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh, what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should drive, how and where you should live and what you should do for a living, who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with and, in the process you learn to go with your instincts.Author Unknown
It’s been a crazy busy week, and I can’t even tell you where it went. I’ve had 2 children call from school and not feeling well. Caitie came home today about noon, she is still running a fever, and her symptoms are semi-strep like……..we’ll be making that trip to the Dr tomorrow if she’s still feeling bad. I tried two new recipes this week, both from blogs. One was wonderful!!! I’m going back to both blogs for more things to try. I’m so happy I have friends and a place to share my thoughts, no matter how trivial or simple.
As always,I have so much to be thankful for:
1. I know the grass is not always greener, and I’ve learned this week to be thankful I do have a school that I have confidence in for Nick. I am thankful that I’ve accepted it, even with flaws as the best choice for Nick.
2. I’ve got more book recommendations lately than time to read. Next week, computer less, reading more.
3. My family, dysfunctional and all………….I love them!
4. Plants that grow despite my poor gardening skills. My gardenia bush is in full bloom, I’m sharing a few pics of some buds I clipped. I have this odd collection of tiny bud vases, the smallest one my sister in law gave me when I was pregnant for the first time. The note read, “this is for when a tiny hand gives you a tiny bunch of flowers or weeds pulled from the yard, it’s the perfect place to put them.” My mother in law Pauline gave me this bush……..I always think of her when it’s in bloom.
May you each find your awakening, and may you have an abundance of thanks to give.