Some sobering thoughts

September 17, 2009 teens 8


Three years ago today two high school girls were killed when after a night of drinking , they drove home and rolled the Jeep they were riding in. It was TRAGIC! One of the girls was a cousin to a soccer teammate of Caitie’s and both girls were juniors at the high school my girls now attend. We knew LOTS of people that knew them, but we didn’t know the girls at all. It was a big local news story. A story we’ve heard before, one many of us might have participated in when in high school. Weekend party at a “friend’s” house. In this case the friend was over 21 and had a keg or more in their home. Underage drinking ran rampant and I’m sure that many of those under 21 or even 18 were leaving to drive home drunk. I think the owner of the home and the person who purchased the beer were prosecuted, but I really didn’t follow the outcome.

Social networking being what it is today, I saw a couple of small tributes and memories posted by young people that went to school with them. The thoughts were surprising, as they were all about missing their friends and them having been taken too soon, and while I know what I read was being penned by 19 and 20 year olds, no where did it mention that God forbid anyone wake up and stop drinking and driving!!!!

I’m not stupid, I made my own share of mistakes pre-21 and past the legal drinking age. Did I ever drink and drive………..probably. I can honestly say not before 21, I did my pre-legal drinking in college and I just had to walk, stumble, fall my way back home.

I’m sad when I recall all the things that happened when these girls were killed. We heard from some that there was a party, yes a drinking party in their honor to remember them, so sadly it didn’t sober up any of those kids. It happened about 1:30 AM, and it begs the question, do you not know where your 17 year old is at that time of night/morning? Somewhere, somehow things were just out of control and two girls were dead.

I would like to tell those kids that are feeling their loss still after 3 years, yes it’s tragic and sad and I’m sure all their family and friends miss them, but while feeling that loss you must all remember how it happened and take stock of how you behave. Do you drink to excess? Do you drink and drive? What example do you set for your friends or your younger siblings and friends?

This was a disturbing morning for me all around when I realized how little it appears some of these kids learned from their loss.

8 Responses to “Some sobering thoughts”

  1. Elizabeth

    That is so sad. And most teenagers never seem to learn šŸ™ When I was in high school, a guy in a grade ahead of me died during a freak accident at a school dance. He had been in a mosh pit, slammed into someone, fell back, and broke his neck. Did my classmates learn from this mistake? No. The idiots started moshing in honor of him. What IS that?

    My heart and prayers go out to the family of these girls šŸ™

  2. Terra

    Oh Oh OH, and it took me a while to learn fom most of my mistakes too. don’t you wish we could just flick a switch and make it all ok?

  3. Pam

    Anita we have had several incidents just like this in the town that I live in. And the kids don’t stop drinking/driving and they make shrines to the kids who died that include cans of beer! Because this has happened 3 times in recent years in our town, our town is the target of very nasty press here in RI. But, it’s not an isolated situation. It’s a function of the teen brain. Our town has done absolutely everything we can think of to end teen drinking and nothing helps. Heck, if dead friends won’t make you stop drinking/driving nothing will. The only thing we can do as parents is be vigilant, talk to our kids and pray. My heart goes out to your entire community.

  4. Tammy Howard

    That was some intense stuff, Anita!

    Partying in their memory is – just difficult to fathom.

    My cousin and I used to run around with a boy who ended up dying in a drunk driving accident. We just kept saying, “we could have been with him”. It was quite sobering. As it should have been. We were all so young…

  5. Mnmom

    Teens can’t “learn” these lessons because they are brain challenged. Seriously. They can’t think abstractly until almost 20 years. That’s why parents need to remain on the scene and in their faces. They HATE having us around but that’s just too damn bad. They CAN’T think well and we have to protect them.

  6. My name is PJ.

    I can’t add anything to what you and the others have said. You have painted the complete picture.
    Young people in groups tend to ignore possible ramifications…

  7. Sandy

    I really can’t add anything substantive to this either. Teens drinking and driving, and getting killed doing it, is everywhere. It crosses ever social, financial and cultural line it seems. I think most parents do everything they can and it’s just not getting through.

  8. Beth

    I missed this post…

    Similar thing happened here… in my school! I was appalled at how the kids reacted…hardly a mention of drinking and driving…or even drinking to access…I believe her friends responded on Facebook much the same way! I just don’t get it!

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