Friendships part 1

September 29, 2009 Uncategorized 9

Let’s talk about friendships, women friendships.

While reading The Girls from Ames, it has made me think about the friendships I have, and the ones I’ve lost. In all honesty it’s kind of made me sad, for what I do not have.

I think many things play into how we keep friends, geography is one thing that has hindered that in some respect for me.

I grew up in a suburb of St. Louis, I lived from age 6-18 in the same home, attended all my school from the same home and made my friends there in Florissant, MO. I was an outgoing social child I’d say, and made friends easily. I was involved in things like Brownies and Girl Scouts and piano lessons. I was friends with kids on my block, and girls at school. The summer before my 6th grade year a new family moved in across the street. The oldest of 3 girls was my age, and Jan and I became fast friends. We were so very different in many ways, she the oldest, me the youngest, her parents much younger than mine. Yet we seemed inseparable, and we did so very much together, we had sleepovers so often with each other our parents always thought of us together. Jan was my BFF…………………and it continued that way through most of high school. We had our first jobs together at the JCPenney store, car pooling and spending more time together. Our friendship was rocky in parts of HS as I was totally consumed by boys/men, and she was interested in them, but not in the way I was. Shockingly Jan’s family moved just before Senior year…..I was heartbroken. Jan and I kept in touch and she moved back post graduation, she had been dating a boy in the class before us. She came home, and I went off to college…………..she married and a few years after college she had her first baby. Jan and I have tried to stay close, cards, letters, emails now, but honestly I don’t know that many details of her life now.

During college my parents moved and I never lived in the metro St. Louis area again, and post college I’ve moved 4 times………..and left friends behind.

Do you have friends from growing up……….say through college even that you are close to? I regret that I have no one, except Jan, that can honestly say they know my childhood secrets and antics. I regret that I haven’t been good about keeping her closer to me over the years. What have we missed? She cried when she couldn’t be here in FL for my wedding, and yet I never resented that in the least. Jan’s youngest daughter is the same age as my girls, so we’ve shared that similarity over the years.

I’m looking forward to hearing about the friendships you’ve been able to sustain since your youth.

9 Responses to “Friendships part 1”

  1. KT

    I am still friends with the girl who was my best friend growing up. We were neighbors from age 3-high school then her parents divorced and my family moved within the same town and her dad got a house close by, so we were almost neighbors again. We definitely went through rough times, became two very different people and hit a rocky patch around middle school, but we are still friends today. She lives in Ct and I just moved to Germany, but we have a bond because of how long we have known each other and been friends. We try to email each other and keep in touch, but even when some time goes by and we don’t talk, I know we are still close and we will still be friends when we are old ladies. We are not best friends anymore, yet we still have a really special relationship.

    Katie

  2. Tammy Howard

    I too have let special friendships lapse. Facebook has been infinitely useful in helping me to re-connect. My friend Ellin and I have been friends since Jr. High, but we only see each other a couple times a year and certainly don’t talk all that often…

  3. sheila

    That is a little sad. I’ve lost touch with childhood friends as well, yet I see that although we were close like sisters back then, we have little in common these days and have grown our separate lives.

    It’s nice to keep in touch here and there, but I’m not sure I’d have become who I am with those people.

    ?

  4. Crazy Mom of Three

    I grew up with two girlfriends; our three back yards were basically connected until they both moved at different times during high school. We are as close as sisters in my heart, even though our lives went different directions. I can still call one of those two friends no matter how long it has been (any time, day or night)and ask her if she remembers something from our childhood and she always does! I feel she is like family to me, but we just don’t get together due to our lives these days (mainly distance). I am also still close to a friend I met in 5th grade in this same way; although, she lives closer and we get together about once per year. I met my current real life best when I was in 8th grade; we get together all the time and our oldest children are the same age.

  5. Terra

    I still consider my neighbor from 2-8 my best friend. he lives in cali, me in colo and we hardly ever talk – maybe every couple years but I swear when we do it is always like it was yesterday. we did everything together for those 6 years and that bond will never fade.

  6. Lauren

    I have stayed in touch with one of my “first friends”. The friend that was in the car when I was born and her mom was in the room meeting me. My friend just moved to my town too. We have been separated since high school, 10 years ago, and it has been so fun to spend time with her and see the person she has become. I regret that there are a number of people from my childhood that knew me so well through high school that I have lost touch with. Even friends from high school. I hope to reconnect with them one day. It’s sad to have spent so much time with someone and given so much and not know what they are doing now.

  7. My name is PJ.

    This was a great idea for a post, Anita!

    First of all, ‘friend’ is defined by me as someone who will drop whatever they’re doing and fly hundreds of miles to help you when you’re in need.

    I have had all of my friends for a long, long time. My oldest friend has been part of my life for 42 years, since we were 10.

    I have 3 other friends, whom I have known for 30,29 and 21 years respectively…so they come from my earlier adulthood, but since, unlike Wonder Bread, I call the formative years ages 1-50, they all grew up with me too.

    My best friends are my husband and my sister…they’ve known me a long time. 🙂

    Are there other people who call me friend…sure, but they define it more loosely.

  8. Miss Healthypants

    My sister is really my only friend from childhood, who knows all my childhood antics, etc. When we get together, we always end up cracking about something that only she & I understand. Everyone else looks at us like we’re crazy. 🙂

    Otherwise, my high school friends are just Facebook friends now. My best girlfriend, I met in college.

  9. Pam

    I still have two friends from early childhood/HS, but I can’t say that I’m particularly close to either of them on a day to day basis. One lives across the country and the other lives in the same town as I do (our hometown). Though when I do see them, it is always very natural feeling. And I have one friend from College that I see a couple of times a year and one that I am in contact with through email/facebook on a very regular basis.

    I think my friendships have been a sort of serial monogamy. I’ve had lots of friends that have been very close and then fizzle for a variety of reasons – geography, interests, phase of life etc.

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