Friendships……..part 2

October 6, 2009 Uncategorized 7


Just in case you are wondering where this is going………..good lord it could go on forever……….I mean seriously, women and friendships are a life long story, some that last days or weeks and some that last lifetimes.

I’ve shared that I have only one childhood friend whom I even keep in touch with now……we were 11 when we met and now at 49 we send emails, birthday and Christmas cards and very little else. Even our emails are sparse. Never doubt I love Jan, she was so much to me when I was learning about me.

Like many young women I went away to college to be educated on more topics I thought possible, it’s so minimally about the books and classes at times. I learned about time management, laundry, lack of both…ha ha. I learned about men, and women, and sex, drugs and rock and roll. I failed at times, both emotionally and in those classes I was attending, but I made friends that at the time were my daily bread and water. Living in a dorm for 4.5 years was quite an experience. My parents paid for 100% of my college, and their stipulations about where I lived did not waiver, and oddly enough, 30 years ago many of us lived in dorms for our entire undergrad years. I began with a room mate from my HS, and now, I have no idea where she is. Over those years I met women from near and far, with varying value systems and hopes and dreams. I had good roommates and bad, oddly enough I can only really remember 2…………how sad is that. I know one year my parents paid for a single room..lucky me. We were there for each other, helping with hair and clothes for a party or date night, helping with class work when things were insane. Supporting each other when some guy dumped us, and yes I needed my she of that help.

Today I watch my two teen daughters and I watch their friendships. I tell them to cherish those as much as they can, as those girls that are there for them are their greatest gift right now. These are the prelude to the college friends, the friends they see more than family(some days it feels like that already).

I’ll be continuing this………….one theme I see in friendships is that your geography and stage of life seem to be the key to who we seek out in friendship. Sharing a common bond…….neighborhood, high school, college, work, motherhood etc……..where we are and what’s most important……these are the beginnings as to why we choose or are drawn to others for a relationship.

The photo is the University of Missouri Student Union……….isn’t that gorgeous!!!
courtesy of google images.

7 Responses to “Friendships……..part 2”

  1. Bonnie

    Anita, it is so true that our friendships seem to correspond with the period of our life. I have a freind in Ks (my home state) that I’ve been freinds with since we were 8. We are more like sisters. I don’t see her or talk to her nearly often enough but when we do it’s like we were never apart.

  2. Together We Save

    I tell my daughters the same thing. Friendships are precious. Not to be taken for granted. I email with my best friend she lived across the street from me growing up and we sure did a lot of growing up together. I hope my girls look back on their childhood and remember really good friends.

  3. Alex the Girl

    It seems I’ve the same kind of friend, I think! We can go forever w/o even speaking, but when we do it is like picking up where we left off at. However, I do envy those who have close constant companions. I wish I had the talent for making and keeping such a friendship.

  4. Miss Healthypants

    All I know is, I don’t know what I’d do without my best girlfriend, who I met in college. I am very grateful that we’ve stayed close all these years. 🙂 Women’s friendships are very important, indeed.

  5. My name is PJ.

    You know how they say that you have ‘friends for a reason, for a season or for a lifetime’? How true, right?

    I have to admit that, because I define ‘friend’ as being that person who will stop everything to fly hundreds of miles when you need them, I had my heart broken when someone who had been my friend and a friend to our mutual friends, as well as my family, for a decade – A DECADE – wound up being a ‘seasonal friend’ and vanished from everyone’s life. To this day, almost 9 years after the fact, I’m still heartbroken by that.

    PS All of us are still really good friends with this girl’s sister. Go figure.

  6. Pam

    I have to agree that geography plays a key role in who are our friends at any given time. The only way to overcome the distance once you’ve moved away (from college, or childhood home or just plain moved away) is if BOTH people are willing to put in the effort to keep in touch. I have one friend who I met in Freshman year in college (1982), she transfered after freshman year and we still keep in touch. And this was way before cell phones, email and IMing. The only reason it’s worked is because we’ve both made the effort to write to each other over the years. I’ve lost touch with lots of other college, HS, childhood and friends from when I lived in AZ simply because we stopped communicating with each other. It’s sad, but I think it’s the nature of friendships. I’m enjoying your series on friendship. Lots of truth here.

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