The Busy life

January 12, 2010 Uncategorized 11

Sorry I’ve been away, I was out of town for the weekend………and when I tell you what I did you may think I’m a fool, or just a devoted mom.
Adrienne had a softball college showcase in South Florida, near Ft. Lauderdale………what does that city conjure up in your head? Palm trees, sunshine, maybe a beach, warm breezes………..well guess what? We were there during the coldest days in over 30 years!!! Between wind, rain,and cold it was not good weather…………..but we did see softball! I was the supportive mom and watched all her games. When we arrived on Friday, sunny, 75. Saturday morning, raining and 36….OMG it was cold!! Sunday, 33 with a wind chill of 28. Thankfully Adrienne played well…………love that kid.

Here are some other things on my mind

  • My dad is doing better, but has some moments of confusion of dementia. Physically he is getting stronger
  • Our new puppy is doing fine, she had two nights recently when she didn’t want to sleep when we did, and oh my can that puppy whine and bark! She is back to sleeping better now.
  • I’m 3 weeks and 4 days into really battling my depression and I’m not feeling big changes yet. It’s frustrating but my dr told me the meds may take 4 to 6 weeks to fully work. The worst part is the anxiety I still find myself having.

I’m having a bit of a struggle on an issue, so I’m asking my bloggy friends for some great words to use.
When you disagree with someone do you sometimes just say nothing? I’m so not good at that, maybe my word for the year should have been silence…lol. This is something really small………something insignificant, but because I disagree and perhaps because we really are very different an online friend from a group has told me I often act like I’m better than her. This stems from a comment I made, well I’ve made it more than once. This group often shares dinner plans, menus etc. Her family has a weekly date at McDonalds for dinner. I do not care what people eat, but honestly this would not be a weekly planned dinner for us, heck most nights not even a dinner out together. Is it out and out wrong for me to point out that my family would not eat that? My husband doesn’t like McD’s……..heck two of my kids don’t. We’ve struggled and tried hard to eat less fast food………Kevin especially since his diabetes diagnosis.
I’m not a snob, but if I write that I wouldn’t eat something, does that equate to thinking less of a person’s food choices? I don’t eat mayonnaise either, but I live in a house where it’s loved, and I don’t think less of my family…LOL.
Maybe I need to continue to work on my responses or just not reply………..and then I think………gosh why does she keep pointing out this weekly ritual and getting upset if I say, enjoy but not for us…………. I hate this feeling.

So I hope you aren’t eating a big mac or a quarter pounder with cheese reading this, and if you are eating those fries(which I do like) don’t be offended………

11 Responses to “The Busy life”

  1. Ali

    Hmmmm, that’s a tough one. My parents take the boys to McD’s every Friday for happy meals and I approve. (Heck, I had a salad from there the other day and coffee yesterday morning.) Maybe why she keeps pointing it out is because she loves the family time with no distractions and she wants others to experience that too whether it’s McD’s, a local diner, or a restaurant that specializes in locally grown products. Maybe she’s getting frustrated because her main issue if fun! family! communication! no dishes! and she thinks you’re getting too stuck on McDs, fast food, calories, fat…Or maybe she’s just overly sensitive and is bff with Ronald!

    Oh, I keep forgetting to tell you, I love Adrienne’s pjs (red with doggies), my mom got me those for Christmas too!

  2. linda

    It can be tempting, but the older I get, I’m choosing silence. I just don’t like confrontation anymore. I feel why bother…

    I have a blogging friend who is best friends with a woman who has a little girl. This little girl is so obnoxious, it drives me nuts. Many many times my friend or this little girls mother will write something that this girl did or said and I truly have to force myself to keep silent. Just last night I was reading about how these 2 grown women couldn’t have a conversation because of this little girl sitting right there and butting in all the time. I want to speak up so bad but don’t. I don’t know the dynamics of that family, so I just read it and move on. It’s very hard though not to put my two cents in but what good would it do. It would just cause hurt feelings.

  3. Kristen

    I’m glad that your dad is doing better!

    That’s a tough one for me to answer. Generally, I’m rather opinionated, and speak my mind….though, I’ve had to take into consideration the feelings of those around me who are a little more sensitive than me. I’m finding that I’m choosing silence a lot more, lately.

    It’s funny that you mention it…but while I was reading (and commenting) on your post…I was/am eating a double cheeseburger and fries from McD’s!

  4. Sandy

    Glad your dad is doing better. Must be a big relief to hear.

    I’ve never hesitated to express my opinions even though I don’t think people have to agree with me and I don’t think I impose my feelings/beliefs on them. If she thinks that’s an indication from you that you think you’re better than her, I think she’s too sensitive and is questioning herself.

    If someone told me they had a ‘dinner night’ at Mickey D’s, especially if I heard it online, I don’t think I’d say a word. Of course, you’re right for all the reasons you say but there might be many reasons they do that….economics, something the kids really like, laziness?

    Believe me, I agree with you, I’d rather eat a cheese sandwich than eat at McDonald’s. And I’m sure Paul feels the same way.

    If this isn’t someone special, I wouldn’t worry about it. I would just assure her that I was just answering for myself and not judging.

  5. Terra

    Ok, you certainly have a right to your opinion and to express it, just as she has the right to schedule her meals to fit her family. I doubt you think you wil actually change her mind, but I bet it would feel better to get it off yours!

    I schedule a meal out a week in our meal plans…though I never “state where” till about 20 minutes before we go…sometimes it is Mcdonalds…most of time it is not!

  6. Anita

    Sometimes it’s not “what’s” said, it’s the tone of “how” it’s said.
    I usually laugh when someone thinks differently than me, because I am typically comfortable with my decisions. But if I’m not comfortable and think that maybe I should change, then I will gladly ask for advice from the person that does things differently.

    If the same conversation happens over and over, somebody’s going to get tired of it, and I don’t think it matters if you’re talking about McDonald’s or…hairstyles or whatever.

  7. Mnmom

    Depression stinks. I highly recommend the book “Feeling Good” by Dr. David Burn. Helps with anxiety too. Cognitive therapy is the way to go!!

    Also read “The Four Agreements”. A simple little book but you will think about it every day. And it DOES make your life better.

    As far as the sensitive reader, no one can make you feel anything! She has to assign meaning to your statement first. You can’t control the meaning someone puts on your words. You only stated you don’t like McDonalds. Nothing personal.

    I’m hugely opinionated, and as I grow older I’m remembering to first check my intentions before I speak. It’s been a lesson learned the hard way.

  8. Mommakin

    Having not read the actual blog nor your comments on it, I have to agree with a few commenters above. She’s feeling unsure about it on some level anyway, which is why she’s reading it as a criticism. I put ketchup on my hash browns and my husband finds it disgusting – but he doesn’t find ME disgusting and *I* know there’s not a darn thing wrong with ketchup on hash browns, so I don’t take it personally. I don’t know.

    I think if it’s a weekly ritual (her schedule and your comment) I’d stop commenting on just that day…

  9. My name is PJ.

    Things in print are trickier than things said in person because there are no voice inflections or facial expressions or gestures. If you take all that out of it, the black and white print could possibly read as snooty to someone. Especially if they, themselves feel some kind of guilt about giving their family fast food for dinner.

    If you told her that your family can no longer eat fast food because of your husband’s diabetes that should be explanation enough, I’d think.

    People can be touchy and she doesn’t know you. Please don’t take it personally. Maybe you catch her on bad days?

  10. Sheri Hubbs

    Anita,
    I am glad to hear that your dad is on the mend to feeling better. That is great news! As for your depression…. I battled that for years, more anxiety than anything, but I was on meds for over 5 years and they did help, but it does take a bit. Just hang in there it will get better for you. As for the McDonalds thing… I totally hear what your saying about no wanting to eat there, heck… who would meet there weekly?!? But… I think it’s better NOT to say anything at all. Sometimes not saying anything speaks volumes in certain situations. If you do get an invite, maybe let her know that you can stop by for a coffee or a drink, but you simply can not eat there due to the situation. Boy, that’s a tough one. Simplified… I just wouldn’t comment on it. 😉 Good luck and I am eager to see how this one winds up. Hang in there girl, things will get better for you.

    Sheri

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