Friendships part 3

January 20, 2010 Uncategorized 14

Last year I began writing about friendships, in particular womens’ friendships. This was sparked when I read the book The Girls from Ames. Great book if you haven’t read it. I wrote a part 1 and a part 2, if you need to review(I did) and now I’d like to talk about a new wave in friendships…….the online friend.

If you are reading this and we have have never met and we have formed any type of bond through blogging, you are a bloggy friend, an online friend. Isn’t it great? We may be miles and miles apart and yet we have found a bond, a link, a kinship with each other and we’ve shared ups and downs and perhaps even very personal things we aren’t parading around our local friends.

My first foray into any online group or friends began when I was pregnant with my son in 1997. I was an AOL member and they had diverse message boards. I found a group of women who were also expecting babies in January of 1998, it was a large group of women, and we supported each other during those months. It was like nothing I could even imagine. One woman delivered her child dangerously early, and we rallied around her and we even had an online baby shower, sending her gifts and all meeting in a chatroom while she opened the gifts. It was a great sense of sisterhood and love. As with many online friends we wanted to meet, and several moms who were geographically close to one another set up play dates and meetings, I was able to do that. My friend Ginger is less than an hour away, we met when Nick and Mikaela were tiny, and while we don’t see each other often now…………we keep in touch and I’d do anything for her. We met other local moms too. Over the next 4 years we had “conventions” two or three that I can recall, and mom’s and babies and families met and got together. I took my whole family to VA just outside of DC for one such long weekend. It was great!! We knew each other, we knew each others kids.
As with many group dynamics some people were better friends with some and not others. I admit that there were those I did not care for, we’d butted heads on some topics and hurt words were written. There was a major split after 4 -5 years, but I remained involved with one group until @ a year ago…………and most everyone went their way. I do have one very close friend from that group, and while miles away we are very close. I could bare my soul to her(and have) and she would still be my friend.

I tried another online group @ 7 years ago when Nick was in Kindergarten. Some people came and went, some people didn’t get along, but for the last couple of years we were all good.
Just recently there were harsh words….and hurt feelings, and many people including myself decided to leave. This was hard, but it was time.

Friendships of all sorts have to be mutual and each party has to be kind, even is disagreements.

I love women,and the bond that they give each other. I love the friends I have near me and online.

sooooooooooooo, after this long diatribe, what are your thoughts, do you bond with others online? Have you met many (or any) people from the internet? Would you like to meet me?

14 Responses to “Friendships part 3”

  1. Lisa

    Yes, I’ve connected with so many people online. I feel so lucky. Yes, I’ve met several of them and they are even more delightful in person.

    And YES! I would love to meet you. I feel like I know your family, how can it be that we’ve never met?

  2. Jenny

    Hi! I saw your blog on PJ’s and thought I’d come to visit. First of all I have to say I love this plaid. I am in the middle of a blog re-do and I keep vacillating betwee using plaid and this looks awesome! I think blogging is like our first grade recess. It gives a chance to say “hi” and see if it’s someone we could be friends with. I have probably met about 30 online friends over the past 5 years and all have been wonderful!

  3. Anita

    I still consider myself new to blogging because it’s only been a little over a year since my first post.
    Since then, I have begun to feel a connection with most of the people that I’ve exchanged comments with, including you, one of my newer bloggy friends. šŸ™‚
    I must admit that I’m leary about meeting my bloggy friends, because the relationships are special as is and I don’t want to have any conflicts (as you mentioned you’ve experienced) and mess up a good thing. I’m very curious sometimes, but I think maybe in another year of communicating with certain people, I may be ready! Stay in touch…Our paths may be meant to cross. šŸ™‚

  4. Terra

    I would do just about anything to not just meet you but wrap my arms around you and give you a long hug (and I am not that much of a hug my friends kind of gal) – I think it is so interesting how often those we “bond” with online are people we would love to have in our real lives. Some of my online friends mean more to me than some of my in person friends…(did that make sense?)

    Anita – you are a wonderful, strong, intuitive woman….anyone who has the pleasure of “meeting” you is blessed.

  5. Crazy Mom of Three

    I have to agree with Terra. Some of my online friends mean more to me than some of my in person friends in real life. I do have close and wonderful friendships in real life too, but online friends have a special bond that is hard to explain. But, online friends are easier to walk away from and they walk away easier … and that is harder I think.

  6. Miss Healthypants

    I LOVE my blog buddies, and am so happy to have my online “community”! *smiles* And yes, I would love to meet you–look me up if you’re ever in Chicago! šŸ™‚

  7. sheila

    I’ve never met anyone from the net. I like my image in my mind of people and don’t want to ruin it by meeting them, lol.

    Some people I enjoy more than others just like in real life.

  8. My name is PJ.

    I have bonded with women on line. I find the dynamic with each individual unique and I enjoy it. I delight in the fact that you can fit time in for the friendship as your schedule allows.

    You know I would adore meeting you, but the reality of it is that, because I can’t travel, I will likely meet very few of the people I enjoy on line. ;(

    I have met Paula over at Castle And Cottage because she lives close to me and she came over. That was so much fun!

  9. Sandy

    My first experience into the online world was around ’96-97 and it was on AOL, too. I started going into chat rooms and found a couple with peoople I related to. One was a 40’s group (oh for those days) and the other was the Redhead Room. I spent a lot of time in both and got to know some people in there pretty well. I made one friend I still keep in touch with occassionally but the rest fizzled when I lost interest mostly after it got a little wierd in there.

    But I did meet three people from the chat rooms. Two lived about 2 miles from me which I found amazing and we had dinner a few times. There was no real click to the connection and I don’t know what happened to them. Another actually drove from New York somewhere to check out a Corvette we had for sale. We had dinner that night and that was about it.

    But I agree the possibilities of making friends online are endless. I have said should I ever find myself single again (please God NO) I would consider using the Internet to find dates.

  10. Mnmom

    I LOVE my bloggy friends, and feel like I’ve know them a long time. I hope we DO meet in person someday.

    I’m very lucky to have real-world and bloggy friends that mean so much to me.

  11. Laura

    Well, I think this whole online friend thing is really fun!

    Reminds me of when I was a kid and had pen pals…I was going for one in every state, and nearly broke the bank for stamps!

    I’m also part of a writer’s group that met first in person and now communicates and critiques online. That’s a real blessing, too. We even pray for each other!

  12. Pam

    First, I would LOVE to meet you! You and Tammy were the first bloggy friends I met and look forward to reading your blogs and hearing your thoughts everyday.

    I was involved in a message board for fans of The Office for a couple of years. I was even able to meet a couple of people. It was great fun.

    The depth of friendships made online is something that really surprises me.

  13. Stacie

    I’m glad you found me. We have a lot in common. I live near Ames and haven’t read The Girls from Ames yet, but really want to. Thanks for visiting me! Keep in touch!

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