Tuning out the complainers

February 5, 2010 Uncategorized 9

Are you a complainer?  Do you think you are the type of person that is constantly complaining about things that are just going to happen?  I am talking about people who don’t particularly like their lot or place in life.  It might be complaining about your job, or your marriage, or your kids……..and honestly from time to time……all those things can be irritating and we each have a right to moan and groan a bit.  I am disturbed by people that seem to always complain about the same things………….and I just have decided to tune them out, to not discuss or encourage their constant miserable whining. 

In all honesty I’m lucky, non of my really close friends are like this.  Some of the people I meet at school or in Kevin’s work, and well yes even in my own family, and sometimes online………..well they doth protest too much. If a person is unhappy they need to be the agent of change.  I realize that having good mental health is a key to that.  If a person is depressed or filled with anxiety or any other major problems those can impact happiness, and some may not see the need for help.  So reaching out is key.  But let’s think about the person who hates their job…….make a plan to change it.  Change your job, speak up……..make a difference.  I hear so many mom’s complain about our roles……….while so not glamorous or financially rewarding, each thing we do to care for our family is critical.  yes yes yes, the laundry keeps getting dirty the floors don’t clean themselves…on and on it goes.  Complaining about them won’t change them!!! Only making a plan to conquer what is problem will help.  Dating someone who is good enough for right now……….but not long term……….or worst yet,married to someone not fulfilling your needs……….let them know…..get what you need…..or move on………
I feel like I’m just not like this, I have up and down days, and I’ve had real issues wanting my own happiness, but I don’t complain daily about my current role and the wife, mom, chief cook and bottle washer. 
I’ve removed myself from relationships that are negative and make me feel bad.  I had a friend that I realized was always trying to one up me.  Our kids were the same age and once attended the same school.  We met that way, and we found some things in common.  As time went on I realized we had less in common and more differences.  The straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, was that this friend always wanted to compare our kids grades……..and brag on her own.  Yes maybe her kids did have better grades, and I hated that she would ask.  I eventually stopped sharing, and only said things like” oh the girls did well, oh congrats on XX straight A’s”.  She couldn’t stop prying, and she couldn’t stop being gossipy, so I just stopped returning her calls.    Her family moved last summer, and we haven’t spoken since.  It was hard, but it was best for me.

I believe that as we age, most of realize that life is short and it’s best to fill our days with people and things that we love and that give us a positive feeling back.  While my heart goes out to those unhappy people who really have so much but see only the glass half empty, I find I can only offer them the advise to yet again pull on their big girl panties, get over themselves and make your life happy!!

So in today’s column of Gratitude I have:

1. I am so blessed to have my husband, he is my rock, my helper and the last person I snuggle with eveyr night.
2. I am blessed to have my parents in my life still, I love still being able to reach out to them.
3. I am blessed with a network for women who I can pray and study my faith with. 
4. I am blessed with 3 healthy, busy children.
5. I am thankful I can complain a little on my blog and then smile and ask, what am I complaining about, my life is oh so good!!!

Have a wonderful day, and stop _itching!!!

9 Responses to “Tuning out the complainers”

  1. Ali

    I think that when I was younger I had more of a problem of not removing myself from situations where I was unhappy. Familiarity always won out over comfortablilty. I’d like to think that as I’ve gotten older I’ve changed–that I’ve realized life is too short…I’ve only recently gotten to the point of not finishing a book if I’m not enjoying it!
    P.S. Got the Delinsky book the other day and can’t wait to start on it!

  2. Anita

    I can’t handle too much whining and complaining either. I try to teach my kids that there are some things in life that we have no conrol over, that they need to get over it, or deal with it, whatever “it” is.
    There will be challenges and days of “losing it” but after we can get some of it out of our system with a good cry, some chocolate, a nap, prayer, exercise, etc., we have to get back up on the horse and ride.
    Good post!

  3. Mommakin

    Heaven knows I like a good w(h)ine as much as the next gal – and perhaps I do more than my share in the winter – but I’m with you – enough is enough.

    Excellent reminder, Miss Anita!

  4. linda

    I don’t think I’m a whiner or a negative person at all. In fact, I think I’m pretty upbeat and positive. Age has helped me with this tremendously. Now having said that, my life isn’t all roses, but like Anita mentioned, exercise, friends, blogging, and prayer help you to just get over yourself and move on. I always try and remind myself that in a week/month/year, I probably won’t even remember what the issue was that was bothering me.

    I’m also not afraid to “drop” friendships that are bad for my well being. Unfortunately, I’ve had to do it once or twice.

  5. Sean

    To thyn own self be true. If you aren’t doing things for yourself but for other people, then how could you ever be happy?

  6. Pam

    People like that are just toxic and it’s best to distance yourself from them. I’m all about “putting on my big girl panties” and dealing with my life. And I’m also all about being thankful for the big and small things that ARE working in my life. I love your can do spirit. Great post!

  7. Anonymous

    Nice brief and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Thanks you seeking your information.

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