Late Night Ramblings

February 21, 2011 Uncategorized 5

As I sit here, 1:39am, Sunday night/Monday morning, I’ve got a million thoughts running through my head.  You may be wondering why I’m awake, no special reason, slept in, now still awake.  I’m just fine, but my mind is busy.
I had Kevin help me home highlight my hair…..not the first time I’ve done this at home, but hey, it may be my last….eek gads.  Tomorrow I’m going red………no picture promises, who the heck knows what it’s going to look like. 
I’ve enjoyed a relaxed weekend, wonderful weather, good books, and family.  Caitie has been away, state Student Government Association conference, she’s had little sleep, lots of fun, and she’ll be home tomorrow.  I have missed her a little bit, she is a good kid.
Have you ever questioned the options we have in choosing to belong to an organized religion or not, in which faith we align our beliefs or not? 
I was raised in a very non traditional non practicing Baptist home.  We occasionally/rarely went to church.  My faith was more about my parents believed in God and his son Jesus, and so I must believe that too.  I visited other churches and faiths with the friends I had, you know sleep overs that led to tagging along with the family to their church.  Some churches invited and encouraged wrangling in one’s friends to attend Sunday School or youth events.  None of this really helped me find my faith.
In college I kept looking, but not until I was about 24 and had lived through a really tragic lost love did I do my own grown up searching for something beyond my own wants and desires.  I fell in love with the forgiveness and love I found in the Catholic church…………..that was of course many years ago now…….I married a man in this faith, in the church.  We gave birth, baptized and educated our three children in this faith too.
Now I still have faith, I like having a belief in something much larger than me, than my ho hum boring life.(in jest)  I even enjoy the feeling I have celebrating my appreciation of a superior being. 
BUT……………..
I have doubts about the limitation the Catholic church sets on some things, things I disagree about. 
I have many, birth control, a woman’s right to choose, sex, oh the sex and how you can and can’t have it on so many levels, or with whom you want…yes you read that right….the forbidden gay sex. 

So that is my deep thought, can you belong to or believe in a church or doctrine if you have too many differences?

I consider myself a liberal when it comes to most issues, fiscally more conservative, not a believer that the government or country owes us everything.  I believe adults get to choose how they love and live.  I believe being gay is how a person is born, not a choice, and I don’t believe God would create a person as a mistake. 
So I’m struggling, and I wonder if there is a place for a person with liberal views and a higher belief.  Do we just take the parts of an organized religion we like and turn a blind eye to those we don’t? 
Feel free to comment, share openly…….I really hope I can get some other ideas.

5 Responses to “Late Night Ramblings”

  1. Crazy Mom of Three

    This is my exact problem with organized religion Anita. It is so refreshing to see someone talking about this. I have found this to be somewhat taboo to discuss in so many settings. I have a very personal relationship with God and I have yet to fully agree with any organized religion I have been a part of. It is hard for me. That is why I can move between churches fairly easily. For me, it is about basic Christian values and aligning with people who also value those things … Most Catholics that I knew in our past church did not agree with the birth control thing. I have more conservative views than I used to, but I am very liberal about gay issues. People are who they are.

  2. Crazy Mom of Three

    And I believe in birth control too! Abortion bothers me personally, but I don’t believe it means that nobody should have that choice, etc. It is all sort of customized to what I personally feel to be true in my heart. I can’t help that and I feel that God is close to me and does not expect me to believe certain things because a human church declares it is the only right way. There are too many different churches anyway. Isn’t it all, really, about a personal relationship with God? The core Christian beliefs I talk about are mainly aligned with the ten commandments.

  3. Beth

    Anita… I was wondering awhile ago about all of this about you… It is that 6th sense thing I blogged about… I knew you had to be struggling… I think Catholicism has it hmmm positives…but overall I think it tries too hard to be black and white. I am not Catholic and will not comment further. I am Methodist and have been all my life. It hasn’t been until the last 3 1/2 years that my faith has become a major force in my life. Faith is personal…and although many will argue that you don’t need organized religion I do think that a like minded faith community is very important. As you know I have been struggling with a life issue this week… and I can tell you that I wouldn’t have made it without my pastor and another friend from my church…they have stood literally and figurative by my side the whole time. I call them Jesus with skin-on. I also had no less than 3 direct prayers answered in various manner yesterday… it was amazing…and not in the Bible banging way…lol…Anyway…I hope that you can find peace with your thoughts…don’t give up on your thoughts…I hope you can find what I have…it is pretty cool! Love ya…

  4. Bonnie

    Anita, I love your honesty in this post. This is something that has been on my mind a lot lately. I was raised in a “christian” church. Very strict and old fashioned, by that I mean they believe women just wear dresses and men should never have long hair.

    By the time I was a teenager I was burnt out. I believed in God but didn’t believe in judging other people for being gay or not of our religion..etc.

    I would love to have a place to take my kids so that they could learn about God and the bible but I have a hard time with organized religion. I’ve been praying about it and I know the right think will come along.

    As for your situation it sounds like you have a lot of differences with the catholic religion. I don’t think you are alone.I’m sure there are a lot of catholics who feel the same.

    Keep me posted. I’d love to hear what you decide.

  5. Sandy

    I know I’m a little late in responding to this post, Anita, but it’s very thought provoking and honest so I wanted to answer. I was raised in a Lutheran church, which I understand, is one of the closest Protestant denominations most like Roman Catholic. I was baptisted, confirmed, and married in that church. Even attended a church school for a few years. But I have to say I never really FELT it. When I go to church with my mother ocassionally now, Protestant I forget which one, I admit I feel good but I feel good about the PEOPLE and the message about living your life as a good person, not necessarily a religoius person. Not so much the faith. I think my ‘religion’ is how I live my life, not always doing the right thing for sure, but even if I went to church on a regular basis that probably wouldn’t keep me from making those mistakes, past, present and future. As a final note, and criticism I guess, I have known many, many, many people who consider themselves ‘good (fill in the denomination)’ who go to church every Sunday and on religious holidays who are, in my opinion, some of the most terrible people.

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