H + I = Hi all of you!!!

April 14, 2011 Uncategorized 5

Happy Thursday World…
We’ve had some drama in our house this week.  Caitie has a friend that has removed herself from their lunch group/table.  Her mom is overly involved in her life/friendships, and she actually called one of the boys in the group and expressed that she was disappointed he didn’t defend her more.  She is also my friend but stated that calling me or Caitie would just make things worse.  I admit, Caitie was already upset that this friend had emailed some teachers to remind them to vote to nominate Prom court…really??  Two teachers told their students this was fact, Caitie was floored….it’s so inappropriate to campaign to be nominated…ick.  I feel caught in the middle, knowing I will see this girl and her mom on Saturday.  When Caitie called her yesterday the girl accused Caitie of never being a good friend, and of gossiping, and she eventually hung up on her.  What a HS drama mess.  I just keep saying, 5 more weeks, 5 more weeks.  I’m a little sad about this too, friends that just can’t talk and work things out.

Drama #2 involves Nick.  I’m torn on this one, I haven’t told anyone outside our little family of 5 and I’m torn between acceptance it’s no big deal, I’m humiliated, it’s wrong the list could go on.
The back story is, go back to next week when Nick dressed for Color Wars day and we painted his face with some green and back. 7th graders were to wear Green.

  Nick got to school and found out that it’s against the rules to paint your face.  In classic 13 year old judgment instead of calling me or rushing to try to wash it off he was not noticed in his first block and he tried to hide from a Dean in the hall way only to be snagged.  He was told to wash it off.  It didn’t all come off and he was on his way to class and the Dean saw him again and gave him a before school Detention for this week Tuesday.  Nick chose to lie to us and said his teacher told him to wash it off and he was on his way to do that when he was caught.  What makes anyone lie…it’s not really like he could be in more trouble for honesty, I encouraged the face paint before I knew it was illegal.
I emailed the Dean, he told me Nick was telling a lie, but he stuck to his story.  I finally just accepted the detention and signed it and it stated if it is missed it would result in a 1 day suspension.
Fast forward to Tuesday this week…………….guess what we forgot?
I received an email from the Dean, and I felt it was a harsh punishment, because what are we teaching, what is the real infraction?  Face paint?  The paint not coming off?  My anger was all about the lie, which I continued to defend in writing the teacher, and was embarrassed to lean he had said nothing to Nick and must not have noticed the face paint.  I emailed the Dean, and had Kevin call the dean, he is not emotional like I am.
The rules are black and white, a missed deans’ detention results in a one day suspension.  To add to the punishment, a suspension in the 4th quarter results in not being permitted to attend the Spring Dance. I don’t agree with the suspension, I think it’s extreme for this infraction.  I’m having a really hard time with this, parenting teens sucks!!
Nick is home today, I was able to get assignments from two of his teachers, another one has her lessons online and the last class is PE.  He got up at his regular time, ate breakfast and picked up his room.  He mowed the back yard.  He is now reading for his English class.
For lying to us, he has no phone or computer for a week, and will not be going out socially this weekend.

Thoughts?  Suggestions?  Hugs?

5 Responses to “H + I = Hi all of you!!!”

  1. Terra

    OH SO MANY HUGS! Sending a bazillion of them. I do hate that punishments don’t always fit the crime, and in some cases back fire because of it.

    On the lying – UGH – you have to wonder what motivated the lie? Were you really going to be THAT mad that he tried to get away with it ? Isn’t that a normal kid thing to do? I don’t know what leads to lying but I do know it is something in the head that is afraid OR embarrassed by the truth – I have always encouraged one of my girls to write something down if it is hard to say and I will do the same with the other as she grows – my hope is that when we hit something “big” instead of lying they will write it, give me time to consider it and talk it over…we shall see!

  2. Mnmom

    Parenting teens – like nailing jello to a tree!
    Our Twin #2 got detention recently – she and her theatre group were involved in one-act plays and had been told some of the lines were “inappropriate” but the kids added them back in for the last performance.

    I wouldn’t worry too much. It’s a good lesson to him that bad stuff happens even when you think you’re just fooling around and not really hurting anyone. On the night of the Spring Dance, take him and some friends out to dinner.

    Girl drama – ICK!!!! That Mom needs to just bow out. Luckily your girls will grow up well adjusted and that other girl will grow up to be the Mom everyone avoids.

  3. Beth

    Girl drama sucks…and yep 5 more weeks! I am sorry Caitie and the other girl are going thru this…not easy…

    Oh man on the Nick issue… I am trying to stay partial…but I have to agree with the school on this one… and that is the teacher coming out…sorry… Rules in middle school need to be followed or all chaos breaks loose… do I think face paint should lead to detention…NO..dumb..but I also wondering whatever happen that it got to be a rule…know what I mean? Hugs hugs hugs!

    We had an incident last year at school. It is a rule at our school that any infractions with substitutes during the last Tri eliminates you from the Valley Fair trip in June…well the assistant to the superindents son got in trouble with the sub… and the trip was taken away…this was a super good kid…the whole nine yards… but to be fair to everyone the rules couldn’t be changed!

    Hang in there…it will be okay…in about a month or so…

  4. Ali

    I wish I had suggestions but all I can offer is hugs and a ‘hang-in-there’ 5 more weeks is just around the corner!

  5. Bonnie

    Best I can do is send a Hugeeeeee Hug! I’m going through it with Connor. I hardly recognize him these days.. the things he says and does. I was just thinking today that I’m going to have to get some help with this, I really don’t know how to handle a teen!

    Sound to me that the punishment was harsh but I guess the good news is he won’t soon forget it!

    I don’t have girls but I know they can be difficult and dare I say crafty! Your girls seem to have a really good idea of who they are and what they stand for. I think they will be just fine, it’s harder for us moms I think.

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