I had planned a relatively quiet weekend, watching Adrienne’s college team play some softball, some reading, relaxing. Friday after work was a wonderful start. Kevin had the day off and met me for late lunch, we then went to see the movie J. Edgar, very well done, love Leo de Caprio. We grabbed a late take out dinner for Nick and came home.
The 9:30 phone call was surprising. Caitie crying her eyes out–what happened–she was suppose to be at her sorority’s formal. She was crying because she had drank too much, thrown up on the bus to event and been send home in a cab. Oh my stars…first to deal with the tears. I offered to drive the nearly 2 hours up to soothe her, no no, she would call a friend. Her friend went to her dorm room, called me that she was calming down and feeling better. I had dressed and packed a backpack. 10:30 she called me again, missing me, wanting me, and so I left, and drove to her dorm. My poor baby, humiliated, shamed, embarrassed, worried about how it might be handled by her sorority’s board that oversees this type of behavior. I comforted her, and talked, she was now sober and blaming no one but herself. She was taking responsibility, a big step in moving on I believe. We eventually slept.
Saturday she was off to a day of work with the others on the nominating committee for her sorority, likely an all day event, but she wanted me to stay, to spend the evening with her. I did. I was bored out of my mind…well not really, I did read, and watch a movie, and read, and cleaned her bathroom. Then my second surprise arrived in a phone call from my husband. He and son had gone to see softball games and taken Adrienne out to lunch, where she then showed him her recently pierced tongue. I’m not against expressing yourself with piercings. I’ve done my own body adornment, but I was older than 18. I asked both my girls to please hold off on more tattoos or piercings until they were older, and more mature to make those choices. Clearly the classic in one ear and out the other theory comes to mind in this situation.
I suddenly felt spent, worn out, ineffective as a parent. One daughter drunk, one piercing herself up, likely ruining enamel on her teeth and who knows what. Now I’m not foolish, I know it’s not my fault and no matter how much I may have warned and attempted to advise on these topics each young person has to find their own way. I did my fair share of underage drinking in college. Sure I threw up, and even passed out a few times, and I never once called my mom to tell her about it. So maybe my daughter did feel she could lean on me, and I’m happy for that. My other daughter, much more sneaky and underhanded, waiting two weeks to see if we noticed, she’s seen us twice. Certain that my main concern was cost, she informed us that it was done free, by a brother of a teammate. She doesn’t really understand altering your body and my concerns that she wait. I at first wanted the damn thing out….or I was taking her car, about all we have as she is nearly 100% college funded by a scholarship.
Now with time to think, I know my support is my most valuable gift to my daughters.
Caitie has been removed from her position on the committee she was so proud of, she was giving some harsh warnings about her behavior. She has to pay for the clean up of the bus and the cost of her cab ride home. She will be paying us back for those expenses, and she’s accepted that with no problem. She now wants things to go back to how they were, and I shared with her that she needs to remember her values and integrity, and that she will regain her reputation.
Adrienne has said that the piercing is not worth upsetting everything and she will take it out, and we will discuss it this weekend. Maybe I doth protest too much.
I did have some reading time…I’ve started The Bungalow, by Sarah Jio, it releases in December and I’m already in love with the book.
I’m hoping for a better week, and today is a peaceful start. A day off for laundry and housekeeping. I’ve found some writing time, and next will be some reading time before a visit to the post office and grocery.
Wishing you a good week. How was your weekend, and what are you reading?